MULTIPOINTS

Some thoughts:

OBLIGATORY HARDCORE GAMER POST E3 Wii COMPLAINT
*I am personally offended that UbiSoft, Activision, and other publishers have chosen to start "boutique" labels catering to a booming new demographic of gamers: stupid people. Already, this demographic has a politically correct title ("casual gamers"), a proclivity for game boxes with family-friendly pastel colors everywhere, and enough copies of Carnival Games to drown like fifteen kitties. And have you ever tried to drown a fluffy, cute little kitty with hundreds of flexible plastic discs? It's hard.

The Wii has not performed as it should have, that is to say, poorly. The system should have at best sold moderately well, mostly to the Nintendo fanboys, who'll buy anything Hudson designs so long as "Nintendo," is slapped prominently on the side of the plastic.

There were potential benefits to this "new-gen" arrangement: Nintendo had an opportunity to become the place developers, slaving away under the auspices of genocidal tyrant companies like EA's and Activision, could stretch their creativity,. While development costs continue to grow at an alarming rate for the HD systems, ensuring a steady stream of Bald Space Marine shooters and sports games to keep the corporate coffers filled, the cost of doing an experimental little thing on Nintendo's strange white box promised to cost next to nothing. And that WiiMote looked so elegant, in stark contrast to the increasingly ridiculous Xbox & Playstation harness-shaped contraptions -- perhaps those financial and input limitations were just the thing to spark some innovative ideas, eh?

*PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFPHT*

As consolation, PSN and the Xbox Live Arcade have gamely stepped it up, providing the kinds of experiences I assumed the Wii would deliver.

The Wii, which should be overflowing with unrealized, epoch-making masterpieces 18 months into it's life-cycle, is today the home of... Ninjabread Man.

And the companies I assumed would throw their creative-types a little freedom to tinker around with gameplay mechanics, narrative presentation, waggle control, and the rest? They secured as many multi-year deals with Hanna Montana as their lawyers let them.

Outside of MadWorld, can you name one high profile Wii game developed by someone living outside of Kyoto?

I PLAY SOME HALO 3 CO-OP AND DON'T HATE IT
*I finally get why Halo is such a monster seller, and it only took me 7 years to understand: game's just dialed in. So far, it is the only console FPS I understand how to control -- the slow, smooth nature of the combat and the tuned analog stick sensitivity are as compatible as peanut butter & chocolate.

Other things I discovered:
*There are a lot of lasers and energy balls and other such nonsense. In a sci-fi shooter, this is par for course. However, Bungie is the only developer that understands that spectral highlighting and particle effects work most effectively when employed with subtlety. Unlike, say, the Metroid Prime series, firing a gun does not fill the screen with light bloom. The brilliance of underselling the flashy graphical effects is that, for once, you can actually see what you're shooting at.

*The shooter genre consists of the same 30 seconds of gameplay repeated over and over again: Move forward - see enemy - shoot enemy - duck behind something - kill enemy - move forward. Bungie gets this, and makes sure those 30 seconds are a lot of fun.

*I can't imagine playing this game solo. Co-op is what made the game fun.



I BEAT METAL GEAR SOLID 4 ONLY TO DISCOVER I LIKED IT LESS THAN METAL GEAR SOLID 3


*I might have more to say about this game later, but the most striking observation I have is as follows: Kojima needs to hire a goddamn editor.

Goodbye, Soulless Corporate Dope Peddlers - Hello, Temp Work!

Today, I have an appointment at a temp agency. Why did I schedule this appointment, considering that I am currently employed at the nation's largest videogame retailer? Although working retail is never much fun, does it not help to enjoy the product you sell?

Well, yes and no.

Games are cool. I would have no objection, no reason to seek outside employment, if my sole task was that of a shopkeeper, selling goods to eager individuals with genuine use for 0ur products. As anyone who has ever shopped at GameStop before knows, however, the sales associates are not only enabling monetary transactions; they're pestering you ceaselessly to spend money on preorders, warranty plans, club memberships, strategy guides, and all manner of useless ephemera. You may find this behavior obnoxious -- shut up about preorders already, you may think, I shouldn't have to preorder a game like Metal Gear Solid 4 when copies of it are about to become as rare as air molecules! -- but please understand: our jobs are entirely dependent on you purchasing this stuff. You don't sell, your hours get cut. You don't meet quota, you get reamed by your (almost always sleazy) manager.

I would field calls every day inquiring as to the trade-in value of certain games. Guess what? I was absolutely forbidden from answering that question over the phone. Why? Because if a potential customer hears what a pittance our store offers in trade-in value for a two month old game, they are far less likely to drive to the store and trade their game in. The entire business model revolves around inconveniencing the customer for our profit.

Ethical quibbles aside, it is very difficult to maintain my kind of lifestyle while working a part time job in a strip mall. "My kind of lifestyle", of course, is a misnomer -- I live with my parents and spend most of my income on games, beer, and cigarettes -- but still. I invested all my liquid capital in a PS3, limiting opportunities to socialize with other people, and right now I need to interact with humans for my own mental well being.

Hopefully, I'll get a higher paying job, full time work -- then, I will have more disposable income for games, hence a few more articles on the blog. Articles about Pocky & Rocky, the history of pirated fighting games, the PC Engine, the effect gaming can have on serious mental illness, DeJap, Metroidvainias (specifically Cave Story), and more!

I've written around 20 words in each of the above ideas for posts -- just so you know, I may only put things up a few times a month, but I'm constantly agonizing over new, equally awful posts.

Sigh.

Early Metal Gear Solid 4 Impressions (Minus World Edition)

I've no idea what to make of Metal Gear Solid 4 yet -- is it an excellent, satisfying, mechanically sound experience of tactical espionage action or is it a wildly ambitious, staggeringly uneven examination of every half-developed idea Kojima drew on the back of a Ghost in the Shell trade paperback one afternoon? Can I dismiss it as a $100 million dollar vanity project with gameplay not all that radically different from a 1990 MSX2 game and this archaic approach to cut-scenes straight outta "Silliwood"?

No, no, no, a thousand times no. It's all irrelevant!

MGS4 is nearly an elegy; at a time when every game on the 360/PS3 is flashy, underwritten shooter garbage, the gutsiness, uniqueness -- straight-up Metal Gear-ness of this game is refreshing as hell.

While sometimes very frustrating to play (fuck you, tracking mission in Act II) MGS4 gets the perfect balance between stealth and action better than anyone. After I beat the game, I'll think about organizing my thoughts and posting something here. Then I probably won't do it, considering my output so far.

Random Fun Fact About My Manual Dexterity: This new, improved control scheme is much more logical and sensible, and I am sure most people will grasp the basics with ease. Most people are not me. After 8 or so hours playing, I'm still turning the wrong way all the time. When moving the camera, I need both the x and y axis inverted on the right analog stick -- which really fucks everything up as soon as I hit L1 and start aiming. It's... really weird. Dragon Quest VIII ruined intuitive right stick controls for me, or something.

Sneak Preview of Next Post

What do Pocky & Rocky & a Tiawanese pirate version of Soul Caliber have in common? STAY TUNED!

A HIND D?! A REVIEW OF MGS3

Here's another one of the user reviews I wrote for Gamespot. Eventually, all those reviews will be up here, excepting the complete garbage I wrote early on. Here at New Sku, "the slowest growing, least popular videogame blog currently on the web^tm," I won't just recycle without adding anything -- I'm not Square-Enix -- so we can expect improved grammar, better formatting, extensive profanity and jokes about cystic fibrosis

Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater. It's more a clothesline to hang footnotes on than a review proper.



'Snake Eater,' is a weird game. Really weird. Remarkably, unsettling, unfailingly weird. Do not let any person tell you different.

Yet I have been reading some other reader reviews here at Gamespot and have been surprised at how little attention this issue has received. Comments like this statement in user megjur's review are ubiquitous: "I'd love to tell all about the story , but I'd hate to spoil it so let just say it's better than ever."

I wonder how one spoils a story that makes no cogent sense.

'Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater,' was developed and produced by Japanese Konami employees under the guidance of Hideo Kojima. In my imagination, this videogame was developed to be a deliberate accident, something like a John Cage composition, as conducted by Kojima.

Kojima strikes me as a bright, idiosyncratic guy. I would call him a 'postmodernist developer' if videogames were done with modernism. He's one of the few producers with a distinctive style. Casual gamers know the name. I think he is really sick of making videogames. If that is true, it is a shame, because - well. I like his games. [1].

I want to believe this game is a farewell to the entire Metal Gear franchise. It is a perfect way to end the series, coming as close to wrapping up all the loose threads as possible in a series as lousy with convoluted plot twists as this one. I'm striking Metal Gear Solid 2 out of the official canon, however, because MGS2 is more like an elaborate joke than a videogame. It's a really great joke, though!

This is my pet theory: everyone involved in the Metal Gear franchise at Konami was told to build the game as though it were a mega-budget 80's thriller (I'm thinking of Red Dawn, the second greatest Patrick Swayze film of all time, when I say this[2]). After this task was completed, Kojima and his team began a much more difficult task: to radically obscure any hint of authenticity - turning reality into something oblique and abstract, breaking all the conceits of 'stealth action' realism in as many subversive ways as possible without calling broad attention to their gambit.

I can almost hear Kojima cackling madly though a tear in space and time from the moment the 'opening credits' segment begins, complete with a brassy James Bond-esque theme song. The cinematic aspiration-traditionalist videogame design dichotomy inherent in every Kojima production is evident right off the bat, here.

MGS3 is soaked in allusions, many of them allusions to other Konami games. However, the history of cinema is evoked more often, and just as heartfelt. Even saving your game (done with the familiar 'codec' system fans of previous MGS games may recognize[3]) calls up your cute companion 'Para-Medic" who will tell you (playing as Naked Snake) a little story about a 'real life' movie, everything from Godzillia to the Magnificent Seven to schlock drive-in films.

A large percentage of game time is devoted to cut scenes. 'Cut Scenes' is something of a four letter word to some gamers, and to place the non interactive sequences spread throughout the course of MGS3 in the same category as the nonsensical drivel that nearly every other PS2 game provides us with is incorrect.[4]. The cut scenes, or whatever they are, are not very game-like, and they aren't 'movie-like' either. Stringing all the cut scenes together and watching them, start to finish, would make for a repetitive, confusing, and somewhat inexplicable film. The best comparison to MGS3's non-interactive bits are the collected writings of Kobe Abe & William Gaddis & Thomas Pynchon: outrageously hilarious events with deadly serious ideas hiding underneath.

I'm most reminded of Gaddis' 'The Recognitions,' a novel that tells a story (most novels tell stories, right?) of one Wyatt Gwyon, a masterful forger of great painters. Sort of [5]. 'The Recognitions' explores the struggle to define authenticity in a world like ours - and, after we've determined what is authentic, it asks us to ponder the value of authenticity. Why, exactly, is authenticity important?

Which brings us back to Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater. This game cheerfully smashes the authentic and the absurd together, like demolition derby cars. MGS3 is the sort of game where you are free to utilize sensible and prudent stealth tactics while wearing a gigantic fake crocodile head. It is the sort of game that, with a straight face, can insert a megalomaniac Russian general who can shoot electricity out of his hands for some reason or another. A game in which The Boss, Snake's mentor turned traitor, appears to be younger than he is. This is a game that tries to implement militarily accurate solo jungle operations in such a videogame-y way that it succeeds almost in spite of itself.

More so than most videogames, Metal Gear Solid requires you to play "The Right Way," to get the most out of it. "The Right Way," to play Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater is similar to "The Right Way," espoused by Larry Brown [6]: move slowly, listen to your superiors, don't worry too much about the logic of your superiors' thinking, and make damn sure to play good defense. One can, of course, set the game's difficulty to "Super Easy," run around with a gun that never jams and has unlimited ammo, wearing the most outlandish costumes and eating the most outlandish things [7], and have fun. You'll be abusing the system, and you'll look like a deformed mongoloid while abusing said system, but you'll have fun.

I do not abuse the system. I take all this stuff real seriously. I do not sneak around with an alligator mask on my head very often. I camouflage Snake appropriately at all times. I almost always restore my last saved game when I mistakenly blow my cover, not because I am worried about seeing a 'GAME OVER' screen[8], but because I felt like I had let Snake down, in some way. I empathize with him, and with Boss, and with all the Fear and EVA and the virtual families of the guards I do kill [9]. I feel this way because game creates such a sense of atmosphere that even the most outlandish events seem reasonable in these Russian jungles. [10]. By "sense of atmosphere," I don't simply mean the graphics and sound effects are phenomenal (although they are phenomenal). I'm referring to the meticulous placement and use of graphics and sounds. The world of Snake Eater could pass for a real geographic location in the real world. The dense foliage of the jungles; the functional and nondescript architecture of the Soviet facilities; the dank caves... intellectually, I am aware this world has been set up and tweaked to stimulate the most enjoyable gaming experience possible by a bunch of people more talented than I am. Doesn't matter; when I turn out all the lights, put on my headphones, and sit in front of my little Daewoo television, I am in 1965, in that jungle.

All the Metal Gear Solid games have this immersing quality to a degree, but the verisimilitude I've been writing about is closely related to the obvious effort the folks at Konami have put into researching their game. Snake Eater has an obsession with technical detail, made blatantly obvious in the extended conversations between Ocelot & Snake. These non-interactive bits are shockingly precise - "this gun does these things when held this way" Snake will tell Ocelot - and a creepy fetishistic streak creeps into the narrative. While undeniably cool-sounding, this kind of trivia can feel showy, even hypocritical, given the subtext of the game's plot.

Snake Eater is, after a fashion, an examination of the mechanisms that drive patriotism and loyalty. Ultimately, at the end of the game, these mechanical processes lose out to a triumph and celebration of the strange bonds and friendships all humans accrue in their lives. John Lennon does not make an appearance on the Snake Eater soundtrack, but there are a few ghostly signs of the dead Beatles' hippie world-view tucked underneath all the macho gun-porn.[11] By treating weaponry and violence like a fetish, the subtext is undercut - but only slightly. The characters in this game are largely military personnel. Of course these people would love guns and bombs and scientists willing to make them more, bigger guns and bombs. Boss is redeemed though violence, not by her rejection of it.

There is only one major flaw in the way this story is told, and it has been a pet peeve of mine since I started reading manga, watching anime, and playing Japanese videogames. Snake never fails to repeat new information given to him in the form of a question. Major Tom (I don't care if he changed his handle, he's f'ing Major Tom) will say: "Snake, listen closely. There's a robot that shoots nuclear warheads somewhere in the wastelands of Russia. Then Snake will say: "A robot that shoots nuclear warheads?"

Tom: "Yes Snake. We believe it is northeast of your current location."
Snake: "Northeast of here?"
Tom: "Yes Snake. I don't have to tell you how important it is to find and destroy this weapon."
Snake: "Destroy the weapon? How do I do that?"
Tom: "Use your training, Snake."
Snake: "Training. Got it. Crab Battle."

This goes on and on and on[12], adding maybe a full hour of time to your game clock. I don't know any Japanese, so I am not sure why this phenomenon reoccurs so often, but there must be a good reason for it.

Now, the interactive bits (also known as 'the game proper') are not without flaws, but I find them to be endearing flaws, like how a slight imperfection in your lover's body makes them all the sexier in your eyes. After playing other, more western stealth action games, the myopic, old-skool overhead perspective is very irritating. To counterbalance this limitation, the developers have given Snake superhuman resistance to physical energy and pain; even on "Hard" difficulty, Snake can take a good 20 bullets before collapsing and dying. This does not constitute "stealth action" so much as it constitutes "stubborn game design."

Meanwhile, the much vaunted new "realistic" additions to the franchise during its' development: namely, the need to hunt and eat food in the jungle, and the required self-doctoring of injuries suffered in battle, as well as the ability to camouflage Snake to best blend in with his environment[13], come across as tacky and poorly implemented. In the middle of a heated gun battle, Snake should not be allowed to pause time to remove a bullet from his shoulder with his knife.

Que serra, serra.

Snake Eater is still very fun to play, both "The Right Way," and the "Crocodile-Headed Mass Murderer Way." It is just a dated game. I like dated games. I'm odd that way. Snake Eater is just as much fun to watch, if you enjoy the near-miss as much as you enjoy the unqualified masterpiece.

FINAL SCORE: A SHOEBOX FILLED WITH ALL THE COLLECTABLE CARD GAMES I PLAYED WHEN I WAS A KID.

footnotes:
[1] - Except Boktai, which was really stupid in both concept and execution.
[2] - What is the best Patrick Swayze film of all time? Roadhouse. And it is not even close.

[3] - ...and hate.

[4] - I still have no idea what the hell was supposed to be going on in Devil May Cry 3, and I've logged dozens and dozens of hours into that game.

[5] - Or is it? Gaddis is a pretty difficult read.

[6] - Larry Brown is a vagabond basketball coach notable for his tendency to quit jobs as soon as he has a chance & his creepy devotion to former North Carolina head coach Dean Smith. Not that there is anything wrong with that; give me Smith over John Wooden and Phog Allen and Allen Rupp and especially Mike "I swear I'm not actually a mouse, really!" Kyskvskiwinskiwizzi (I purposefully misspelled that name, by the way, because I hate Duke, and therefore hate him by proxy).

[7] - I had a roommate that exclusively fed Snake rotten food. He loved spinning Snake around in the menu screen until Snake puked the poisoned food back up. Admittedly, I thought this was funny as hell.

[8] - Rumor is, Kojima wanted to release the game with the following feature: death is permanent. Dying automatically would wipe any MGS3 saved games from your memory card - actually "killing" your progress in the game. Knowing him, he wasn't going to advertise this 'feature' until the game was out -- I imagine he would do his best to keep the secret, Rayden-style (remember MGS2: Sons of Liberty?). This is such a mischievous and evil maneuver that I can think of very few parallels in gaming history. I love it.

[9] - I've always been uncomfortable killing beings clearly meant to be humans in videogames, and I usually think I'm alone in this way. But I'm going to ask something of you, dear reader: I want you to try this experiment sometime when playing Grand Theft Auto or MurderDeathAwesome or whatever. Pretend that every human you kill has a family to take care of. A wife, expecting. An ill uncle to take care of. A boyfriend who was planning to pop the question later in the day. A stack of half-finished poems that could revolutionize the literary world. Then pull the trigger.

[10] - Except for that RPG thing that fires nuclear warheads.

[11] - Plus, if you play the game backwards at half speed on an old belt-driven turntable, you can clearly hear Lennon say "Paul is dead."

[12] - And on.

[13] - Yeah, it's a bunch of compound fragments strung together. Just be happy there are not any dangling participles around.